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It's HAZARD TIME!
"Thanks for buying my game. I'm sure you'll enjoy it. -- Sincerely, Matt Hazard"
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 15
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Take 5.
Pause the game. "Hey...come back here and play!"
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 5
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Straight-A Student
Complete all of the in-game tutorials. "Like I had any choice..."
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 10
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Hands-On Approach
Defeat an enemy using melee combat. "I don't need a stinkin' gun to deal with YOU!"
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 10
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Eat FIST!
Perform 10 single-hit melee kills. "In Hazard Land, the hand can be used like a knife."
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 25
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Feeling Punchy
Get 5 melee kills in a row. "Not as fast as shooting...but it sure is satisfying."
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 30
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Headache
Score 20 headshots. "A shot in the head is worth two in the chest."
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 10
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Migraine
Score 50 headshots. "That's using your head!"
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 20
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Head of the Class
Score 100 headshots. "Don't lose your head! Oh...too late."
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 30
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Better than One
Score two headshots with one bullet. "Eat lead...both of you!"
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 25
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Plink
Get 50 Hazard pistol kills. "Frag you."
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 10
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Pull!
Get 50 Shotgun kills. "That was a blast!"
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 10
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Auto Dealer
Get 50 SMG kills. "You would think this one would have been automatic. Get it? Automatic? Nothing?"
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 10
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Russian Attack
Get 50 AK-47 kills. "They might be socialists, but they make a pretty good gun."
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 10
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Peekaboo...I Shot You!
Get 50 Sniper Rifle kills. "Zoom, pow! Right to the moon."
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 10
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Blind Luck
Kill 25 enemies using blind fire. "Sorry. Didn't see you standing there."
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 15
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Second Amendment
Get a kill with every available gun. "The developers put all those guns in the game for a reason..."
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 10
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Say "No" to Pots
Shoot 30 potted plants. "Just sittin' there, bein' all green and stuff. They were askin' for it!"
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 5
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Fire Hazard
Shoot and destroy 30 fire extinguishers. "Extinguishers. They're not just for fires anymore."
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 20
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Uncovered
Destroy 20 cover objects. "I know it's a waste of ammo...but I LOVE that de-rez effect!"
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 20
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Boom.
Blow up 50 explosive objects. "Hey...I didn't pay for 'em. Why should I care?"
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 20
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No Pain, No Gain
Kill an enemy with an explosive and take damage. "It'll hurt me more than it hurts...never mind."
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 10
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Maxx Karnage
Collect 20 Hazard pickups. "Maxx Karnage...sounds like a cool action hero name."
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 20
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Shield Master
Collect 20 Master Shields. "It's not like I was afraid of dying...I just wanted the achievement!"
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 20
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Just a Flesh Wound
Beat a level without dying. "Eight million corpses in this level...and you're not one of them."
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 40
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Hazard Avoider
Beat the game on Minor Hazard. "Sure you won...my GRANDMOTHER could win on 'Easy!'"
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 10
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Pseudo-Hazard
Beat game on Major Hazard. "Well...at least you didn't have it set to 'Easy...'"
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 20
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Hazard Master
Beat game on Maximum Hazard. "You've done this before, haven't you?"
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 40
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Multiplayer Master!
"What? No multiplayer? Sigh. Well...not like we can take the achievement back NOW...."
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 30
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...Where Credit is Due
Watch the credits. "Hey...aren't they the guys who made that cool noir detective game?"
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 60
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Disco is Dead
Defeat Sonny Tang. "Sonny, YOUR ass is kicked!"
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 20
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Stung
Defeat Sting Sniperscope. "Your present ends now."
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 10
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Head Cheese
Kill all butcher shop enemies with headshots. "You're not PAYING for ammo. Feel free to use more."
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 10
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Meat Your Maker
Blast all hanging beef. "Udder destruction? Steaking a claim? Beating your...I can go on all day."
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 10
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Draw
Get 50 Dual-Wield Six-Shooter kills. "Now all we need is the spaghetti..."
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 10
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Bedlam Basher
Kill a Bandit from behind with a melee attack. "Good for you. Coward."
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 5
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Dances with Guns
Don't let any dance bots die in Level 2. "Do dancing robots dream of disco sheep?"
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 10
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Russian to the Finish
Defeat General Neutronov. "From Hazard, With Love."
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 20
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Deja-Vu
Defeat Sting Sniperscope again in Level 3. "Your present ends now. Again."
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 20
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Death Hazard
Score 20 single-shot Zombie kills. "Don't these things usually hang out in shopping malls?"
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 20
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Housing Crisis
Escape from Dexter's mansion. "I gotta get me a house like THAT!"
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 10
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Pure Energy
Get 50 Energy Pistol kills. "Blaster? I hardly know 'er!"
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 10
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Well, I Heard them Scream
Get 50 Plasma Rifle kills. "Plasma rifles. They're not just for Space Marines anymore."
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 10
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Tramm Ride
Defeat the Tentacle Beast of Tramm. "One-two shot right to the tentacles."
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 40
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Your Turn
Defeat Altos Tratus. "Forecast for the next level: no more clouds."
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 20
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Talk!
"What do you mean the interrogation feature was cut?!? Here...just take the achievement."
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 10
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Deja-Vu (All Over Again)
Defeat Sting Sniperscore yet AGAIN in Level 7. "I. Have had. Enough. Of YOU!!"
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 30
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Observe the Grenade
Kill three Testers with one grenade launcher shot. "Test the grenades: check!"
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 15
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Beat the Snot out of Wellesley
Defeat Wally Wellesley. "Like I said..."
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 50
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Meet Quentin.
Meet Quentin. "DUDE!!!!!"
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 100
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